Thursday, December 6, 2012

"Just" Friends

Fall dance, 9th grade.  Jeff Merrill came up to me while I stood among a group of my girlfriends and asked, “Do you want to go with Scott?”  What??!  Gorgeous sports-guy Scott?  “Do you want to go with him?  I’m asking you for him.”  YES!!!

Next thing I knew, Scott and I were dancing to the next slow song.  My heart was racing and I didn’t know what to say.  Of course I had had a crush on him for two years, but never said anything to him.  Jeff knew my feelings as he was a mutual friend, but Scott?  Nooo!  He was “too far above me.”  And now I was going with him?  The night was perfect!

Then, he kissed me.  Not being used to long kisses, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to kiss his top lip or lower lip or both together or…?  I kept trying to follow his mouth, but it was worse than awkward.  Then I felt…was that his tongue?!  I squealed and pulled back, but he held me tight, yet tenderly, and I melted into his arms.  My hands felt the muscles of his hockey-honed back, my bare legs under my skirt brushed against pants.  I felt heat in my chest that extended to my elbows and up my neck, rushed into my ears and made them burn. 

“Why don’t you kids come up for air??”  It was the most rude, loud, embarrassing, AWFUL moment of my LIFE!  I jumped away and thanked God the teacher hadn’t been one of mine.  I was ashamed and wanted to hide.  Like a gentleman, Scott drew me back into a less intimate embrace and we finished the song with bashful smiles.

I floated home and kept hoping he would call me that weekend.  He didn’t.  On Monday, he passed me a note saying it had all been a big mistake and he felt terrible, but he had been in a fight with his girlfriend and they wanted to get back together, and he hoped I wouldn't be too hurt.
 
Dreams dashed, I tried to be understanding and returned him a gushing letter, complete with my extension of friendship.  I think I was still rosy from my first steamy kiss! 

His easy, jovial manner made the just-friends transition tolerable and instead of admiring him from afar, I got to know him a little as a person.  Still, he was my favorite object of flirtation and could completely wilt me with a brown-eyed glance.

Although together in a few classes, we moved in different circles and rarely saw each other socially.  I was maturing and becoming comfortable with the young woman I was, but didn’t trust my heart around him.  It still skipped on occasion.

Senior year came with all its college applications, part-time jobs, sports, and numerous church activities.  I was happy and busy and mapping out my future…until my world caved in.

I sat in my minister’s office, shivering from the cold.  It had been 60 degrees just a few days before, and that day, it snowed.  The organ was playing a dark prelude and soon I would have to go in and attend my mother’s funeral.  I didn’t have the heart to greet anyone, so was waiting in this quiet place.

Finally, the time was long and I had to make my way through the lobby.  I looked up to see a latecomer enter the church.

“Scott!”  I said in complete surprise.  “What are you doing here?”

“What are friends for?” he said solidly, and gave me a long hug.

No teasing, no flirting, no kidding around.  He was a man intentionally being there for me.  It shocked and thrilled me and I respected him completely.  This act of kindness meant more than a thousand kisses and at that moment, I realized I loved him dearly as "just" a friend.
~~~~~
Pondering Points

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 18:24
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Luke 6:31
Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Colossians 3:12-14
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
Romans 5:10
For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son.
What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!  What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

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