I had been sitting
way too long in a defective, gaping hospital gown the last time I was at my
OB-GYN’s office. I had put off this
dreaded appointment for more than two years and now that I’d worked up the
courage to finally go in, they were making me wait more than a half-hour in the
cold, perched on an awful papered table.
Out of boredom, I
broke the no-cell-phone rule and was having a light text conversation with my
daughter. Finally, when I couldn’t take
it anymore, I wrote, “If they keep me sitting here in this ugly thing any
longer, I’m going to vandalize the office!”
Her response was
quick: LOL – do it!!
I was so afraid I’d
get caught! My heart was beating madly
in my chest, but listening hard, I could hear the doctor was still with another
patient. I jumped down from the table
and untacked an 8 ½ x 11 flyer of a mom holding an ultrasound picture in front of her
very full belly that read, “Protect Your Baby Before He is Born. Get Vaccinated Against Flu and Pertussis.” Hands shaking, I folded it and stuffed it
into my purse, then scrambled up to the table.
Afraid of the gaping hole it left, I climbed back down and rearranged
some of the papers on the board so it wouldn’t be too obvious, then hiked myself
up again, breathing wildly from the excitement.
Awwww, I am in trouble! Secretively giggling and hands shaking, I text
my daughter back – “I did it! Tell you
about it, later! HAHA”
Remembering it in the dark of night, I am arguing with myself. WWJD hits me square in the nose and I sass back, “Well, I could have maybe added a thought bubble above the ultrasound that read, ‘No, Mama! The FDA and CDC never intended for vaccines to be administered to fetuses! They have never conducted fetal testing; in fact, that is what they’re doing now – on us! Just last year, the number of spontaneous abortions [miscarriages and stillbirths] jumped up in moms who got flu shots but had otherwise healthy pregnancies. Please don’t!’”
That’s me all over
– just one big jumble of controversy.
LOL I suppose it was better that
I just stuffed it in my pocket and didn’t start a firestorm.
The doctor came in
and while talking to me, glanced at the board. I could see her thinking, “That looks
different; what’s missing?” Then she looked
back at sweet-little-smiling-pastor’s-wife-me and instantly dismissed the
thought that I would remove anything off the sacred cork. Nah, must have been her last client. HAHA
Oh, I’m sure the drug reps that brought the flyer gave her plenty more
to replace it. Mary...! haha
So, now I
struggle. Did I sin? This was surely against the 7th
commandment of “Do not steal” or maybe the 10th of “Do not covet
they neighbor’s belongings.” My original
intention was mischief, but what if I am morally opposed to prenatal human
experimentation? Would that be covered
under WWJD? At least under Walden for
its civil disobedience? Something??
If I am trying so
hard to rationalize it away, maybe I should stop being a coward, take my trophy
and mail it back to the doctor saying, “I did this and here’s why.”
Well, because I
like it there and I don’t want to be dismissed as a patient. Plus, I know opposing this makes me the David
among the Goliaths. Some even think I’m
nuts! Then there’s the issue of their
being able to trust me. Screwed that up.
Ok, but Jesus
stormed right into the Temple and TOTALLY messed with their heads! He definitely made no friends, people thought
he was crazy, he wasn’t trusted by many, they eventually crucified him…but he was right.
So much of the
things I say and what I stand for are dismissed by others simply based on the
fact that I am a Bible-believing Christian.
Why not be bold?? Not just on
this issue, but many things! As long as
I am continually searching my heart to know if my intentions are in line with
God’s will, should I not keep trying to make a difference in my world, even if
it’s not popular? Hmmm…
~~~~~Pondering Points and PS
(P.S. I purposefully brought in verses on being right, being wrong, judging and seeking God. It is all over the place, but so are my thoughts on what I did…)
Psalm
20:7-8
Some
trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our
God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.
Proverbs
3:5-8
Trust
in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in
all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil. This
will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
Proverbs
14:12
There
is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.Proverbs 25:2
It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.
Romans
14:7-12
No
one lives for himself alone. No one dies for himself alone. If we live, it is for the Lord. If we die, it is for the Lord.
If we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and lived again. This is why He is
the Lord of the living and of the dead. Why do you try to say your Christian brother
is right or wrong? Why do you hate your Christian brother? We will all stand
before God to be judged by Him. The Holy Writings say, “As I live, says the
Lord, every knee will bow before Me. And every tongue will say that I am God.” Everyone of us will give
an answer to God about himself.
James
1:5
But
if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously
and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
1
Peter 2:15
For
such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of
foolish men.
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