CUTE AS F***

“CUTE AS FU**” With the rest of the word intact, this slogan in all-caps donned the front of a baby’s onesie.  Happily sitting in the front seat of a cart in a jam-packed grocery, I passed him and his parents, today.  In shock, but in more of a hurry, I walked quickly past.  I clenched the cart and willed it forward, fighting the urge to spin around and give those parents what-for.  But I had my sweet little reader with me who would have read the words and asked what it meant.  No thank you!

Now, had my Mother seen it…!!  Mom, who was pepper and spice, yet everything nice; oh dear.  Rushed or not, accompanied or not, she would have stopped them at the check out and told them to Get. That. Shirt. Off. That. Baby. NOW!  Hahaha

I suppose I could have gotten in their faces, pointed and asked, “Do you really think that is in any way appropriate??”  I felt like telling them that was near child abuse to put that filth on an innocent baby.  But then I suppose they could have easily laughed me off, called me “old” or a “religious pain in the –“

I could have put on my witty self and said, “He is cute, but that outfit is so wrong.  F*** is a verb but it’s written here as a noun.”

I agree with free speech and yes, it is the parents’ choice to dress their child as they see fit.  But you have him in a public space and now I have to read it – and my child is exposed to it.  More than that, this innocent little baby boy is not going to understand why people are pointing at him and yelling at Mommy and Daddy.  It’s incredibly offensive.

So, the final test: What Would Jesus Do?  Had He been with me, what would He have done?  He would have loved on the baby, first of all; recognized his worth and that indeed, this little boy was cute.  But He would have confronted the parents about showing off their son without offending other people.  He would have shown more restraint than I or my mom would have, while at the same time not letting those 20-somethings off the hook.

Act in love, act in love; I’ll have to get that in my head.  I can sometimes tend to REact, without tenderness sprinkled into it.  I’ll have to be loving, but not lose my saltiness.  Now that’s a tightrope worth walking.

CUTE AS F***.  Wow.

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Pondering points

Proverbs 15:1  “A gentle response diverts anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.”

Matthew 5:13-16  [Jesus said,] “You are like salt for the whole human race. But if salt loses its saltiness, there is no way to make it salty again. It has become worthless, so it is thrown out and people trample on it.  You are like light for the whole world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; instead it is put on the lampstand, where it gives light for everyone in the house.  In the same way your light must shine before people, so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven."

Matthew 18:10 [Jesus said,] “See that you don't despise any of these little ones. Their angels in heaven, I tell you, are always in the presence of my Father in heaven.”

Matthew 18:15 [Jesus said,] “If your brother sins against you, go to him and show him his fault. But do it privately, just between yourselves.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother back.

Galations 6:1  “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”

Ephesians 4:29  “Don’t use foul or abusive language; let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is good for building up people and meeting the need of the moment. This way you will administer grace to those who hear you.”

Heavenly Visits

For the second night in a row, I’ve awoken from deep sleep having had a variation of the same dream.  These were such lifelike conversations with my Grandpa Thompson that had they not been completely reassuring and warm and full of play, I’d say it was spooky!  Grandpa went home to be with the Lord almost a year ago.

I was not able to tell him goodbye and it wounded me so deeply that it has been like a gaping hole in my heart month upon month.  It has hurt so much it is almost a physical ache.

I feel like these dreams came from God, Himself; because I don’t think time heals all wounds, but I believe that God does.

HAHA – last night I dreamt that Grandpa was in a hospital bed, but he was jovial and funny; alive and inviting.  I sat near him and read aloud my Little House on the Prairie book.  I pause now to remember and can almost feel the soft, white peach fuzz of his haircut I loved to touch.  Or how he would hold us girls, screaming and laughing, while he tickled our necks with the stubble on his chin.  Last night, I brought him a bucket of toys or tools or something – I can’t remember.  He smiled and said, “What would I do without my girl?”, owning me as his.  It was a beautiful dream and I was loathe to leave it.

Tonight, I was little, again, and I saw my own tiny fingers play piano for him.  Then we played checkers with the old board in the back room and the red and black pieces that we kept in a jar.  As I type, it seems so insignificant here on the page.  But to my aching heart, it has been heavenly salve.

God doesn’t abandon us.  Even in our sleep, he is our heavenly Father and holds us, heals us, wipes every tear from our eyes.  Thank you, Lord Jesus... goodnight.

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Pondering points

Zephaniah 3:17  “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Rev. 21:3-4  “I heard a loud voice from the throne saying: ‘God’s dwelling place is now with his people. He will live with them, and they will be His own. Yes, God will make His home among his people.  He will wipe all tears from their eyes, and there will be no more death or suffering or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’”

Psalm 10:17  “O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; You will strengthen their heart; You will incline Your ear.”

Psalm 27:7-10, “Lord, listen to my voice when I cry out— have mercy on me and answer me!  Come, my heart says, seek God’s face.  Lord, I do seek your face!  Please don’t hide it from me!     Don’t turn me away because you are angry.  You have been my help!  God my Savior, don’t say no to me.  Don’t desert me.  Don’t leave me all alone!  My father and mother deserted me, but the Lord took me in and comforted me.”

Isaiah 49:14-15  “Can a woman forget her nursing child?  Will she have no compassion on the child from her womb?  Although mothers may forget, I will not forget you.  See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

Confessions

I “snuck out,” yesterday, and had a blast being bad with a close friend, guiltily enjoying some ice cream and wonderful conversation for three hours.  I felt a twinge that I was doing wrong to my husband who stayed home to watch our little one because we had started our diet together this new year and truly, 3 hours is a very long time to leave them both just to be selfish and enjoy some girl-time.  But as I am awake in the night, I realize that I not only trespassed against him and my own body by consuming copious amounts of sugar and salt less than two weeks into January, but I sinned against God by eating the sweet meat of gossip, bite by delectable bite.

Now, don’t get me wrong; every bit of the account I gave was absolute truth.  That’s the part of my life that so temptingly leans toward gossip: it is packed to the gills with trauma, drama, comedy and blessing.  It’s easy to get carried away on a sugar high, talking fasterandfaster about my personal soap opera.  But upon reflection, it was one long sin-fest.

Again, was it true?  Yep.  Scout’s honor!  Was it about my life, directly?  Sure was.  But did I change the details to protect the innocent?  See, that’s the thing – they’re not so innocent!  They’re easy targets!  But…even here, I am convicted.  Maybe in God’s eyes, “easy target” means someone weaker who deserves my mercy and not my condemnation.  Maybe retelling my tale reveals I haven’t forgiven them as I ought. 

I was convicted long ago about exaggeration.  Since then, I’ve told myself, if I have to super-size a story to make it a good one, maybe it wasn’t quality to begin with.  I need to stick with the facts to be sure it hasn't grown into a lie.  So I've conquered that one, but upon deeper self-examination, I need to grow further.

As salacious a story as it is…I’m wondering if I am harming a weaker person who needs my prayers, not my judgment.  Even though my friend has never met most of the objects of yesterday’s discussion, it still colors her view of them should they ever meet by chance.  And the picture I painted wasn’t a pretty one.  Accurate?  Absolutely.  But a portrait of souls who still need grace, just as I’m seeing I do. 

So Lord, I’m sorry for my lack of self-discipline.  Please help me to grow and be more like your Son.  And honey?  Sorry about the ice cream.

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Pondering Points

Proverbs 18:8 "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts."

Psalm 51:1-2 "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions."

Hosea 6:6 "For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings."

Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Matthew 18:21-35  "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.  Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

 

Run Away Home

It was chilly.  Regardless, I clutched tightly to my clothes and plunged into the night.  On tiptoe I had come through the back of the house and slipped into darkness.  My heart raced with disobedience as I shut the door behind and turned to face my rebellion. 

In the yard, eyes not yet adjusted to the inky black, I hit hard the dog jumping at me.  “Tracey, get DOWN!”  I whisper-screeched, but sucked in my breath when I realized the animal I struck was too big to be my own.  I ran down the alley with all my might.   I was surprised it didn’t chase; it must have been stunned by my boldness.  So was I.

Stones hurt my bare feet, so I kept to the grass at the side.  I ran hard, but slowed when the air in my lungs was too hot to exhale without burning my throat.  Soon I approached the streetlight and had to pass by the house with the biggest dog in the neighborhood.  I hoped it wasn’t out at night.

Sneaking across, I panicked, hearing a stranger’s voice: “Allie, is that you?  What are you doing out so late?”  Naked feet slapped madly the asphalt and I disappeared down the street.

I rounded one corner, then another, and looking back, saw a police car slowly rolling, peering, coming close.  I hid in bushes, prickly and stabbing, willing my breath to still.  I could barely make out the radio through its open windows, “Thought I saw something; it’s nothing,” and in what felt like thirty minutes, they drove on.

I kept walking, walking, past the brick schoolhouse, down the hill, on and on into the night.  I came to the final corner and was at long last only a few houses from my goal: Grandma and Grandpa’s place.  Mommy and Daddy had told me I wasn’t allowed to stay the night and I had been heartbroken.  In my defiance, I had packed up a change of clothes and decided I was going to march across the town, myself, sleep outside, then sneak in their house by morning and they would wake up and find me there.  I was 5-and-a-half years old.

I reached my goal, but was discovered making noise in the garage.  (I got too cold trying to sleep in the driveway.)  Alarmed at first, Grandpa was amused and I think secretly impressed.  He phoned and asked where Marilyn was.  They answered I was asleep in bed.  Grandpa said, “Go check.”  Ha!

Such was the love I had for my grandparents!  Grandpa teaching me checkers, singing with me Gaither songs on his 8-track, Grandma making “Tang-Tea” and listening to Paul Harvey on the radio.  It was familiar and safe and I wanted nothing more than to be with them.

Grandpa went to heaven six months ago and Grandma followed this week.  They’ve gone home.  They join Mom and Dad who have been keeping their places warm for many years.  And how I ache to join in their welcome celebration this night!

But I have a long journey, yet ahead.  I have dangers to fight and enemies to avoid, roads to choose and hills to descend.  I hurt because I miss them.  I want to be with them.  I hunger to belong and be that accepted, again.

Yet, I feel God’s encouragement and love.  So while weary, I plod along, one foot in front of the other, slowed by grief but hopeful that I will see them all again, one day, after this great adventure.

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Pondering Points 

1 Thess 4:13-14

13 Brothers and sisters, we want you to know about people who have died so that you won’t mourn like others who don’t have any hope. 14 Since we believe that Jesus died and rose, so we also believe that God will bring with him those who have died in Jesus.

John 14:1-3

1Do not be troubled. Trust in God. Trust also in me. 2 My Father’s house has room to spare. If that weren’t the case, would I have told you that I’m going to prepare a place for you? 3 When I go to prepare a place for you, I will return and take you to be with me so that where I am you will be too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vmcEQz1ny4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vmcEQz1ny4