Letting Her Hurt

Kaydee experienced her first death, yesterday.  We were reading a Little House on the Prairie chapter book all about Laura Ingalls and her adventures with her trusty bulldog, Jack.  Jack protected her from wolves and wildcats, bears and even a runaway ox, once.  He loved her, played with her, from little girl to nearly grown-up one.  The very last chapter talked about their loading the wagon for yet another journey West and the night before they left, Jack departed without them.

This caught Kaydee off guard.  Being an animal lover and especially having an elderly dog of her own, it struck her down and the tears rained.  She came flying into my arms from across the room.  “Jack died??” 

The cynical side of me could have touted, “This book was written about the 1800s, of course he died.”  There was an unhappy time in my life that I may have reacted to someone like that, even a child.  Shame on me.

The doting side of me could have soothed, “It’s just a book, honey.  It’s ok,” hush-hushed the crying, glossed over the hard stuff, patted it, made it look pretty and pretended it away.

But I didn’t.  I let her hurt.

I acknowledged that it was heartbreaking.  I wiped her tears, held her close, loved on her and let her feel that pain.  I cried with her and told her I knew what she felt; I had cried the first time I read that Jack died, too.  I told her about losing my pets and how sad it was.  I let her hurt.  I know that our 9-year-old dog, Mandy, favors her hip, has odd lumps on her body and who knows how long she’ll be around in our family.  I let Kaydee go through this grief as a mini practice run for the time when we’ll lose our furry girl.

Opposite of being cruel, I think I was helping her, preparing her.  Part of me did feel “mean,” but being an older, wise parent, I know there will be bigger hurts and harder deaths in her life.  I gave her a tiny taste of hardship now to exercise her heart and let her know she could get through it , hopefully readying her for life, ahead.

I wonder if God does the same with us.  It must hurt Him to see His children suffer.  So many sorrows we walk through, so many challenges and frustrations.  He already knows how the next chapter goes, but in His wisdom, He lets our story unfold.  

I know that God never leaves us.  He is always there, ready to hold us, wipe our tears, listen.  He has all power to take away our maladies, and yet He sometimes decides to let us walk through them.  Through the torture and death of His Son, He has known great suffering, extreme pain.  Yet He let Christ die…for us, to save us.  Yes, He can change our circumstances, but sometimes, He doesn’t.  But when we wade through hardships with Him, we then see we can grow stronger; we can make it with His help. 

Maybe our hurts don’t seem to have a point in this life.  But God as the perfect parent will work all things together for our good and His glory.  I trust Him.  Praise God!

~~~~~

Pondering points

Romans 8:28,  ²⁸ “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 Genesis 50:20,   ²⁰ “But as for you, you intended evil against me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many people…”

Isaiah 53 Who has believed our message
    and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
² He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
    and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
    nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
³ He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

⁴ Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and afflicted,
    yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
    so he did not open his mouth.
⁸ By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
    Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
    for the transgression of my people he was punished.
⁹ He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
    and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
    nor was any deceit in his mouth.

¹⁰ Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
    and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
    and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
¹¹ After he has suffered,
    he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
    and he will bear their iniquities.
¹² Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
    and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
    and made intercession for the transgressors.

Kaydee & Mandy after having shared an ice-cream sandwich, they're both on sugar highs!